Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phasein
plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants
jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
" ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the
removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgracful, and they
should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"
with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis
and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!!!